Take Off The Boxing Gloves
When you attend beauty school, you learn artistry and the science of hair, skin, and nails. Not to toot my own horn (toot toot), but I was a pretty good student. With my education, additional training, and experience, I believe that I have a good understanding of what fashions of hair and makeup are flattering to specific profiles. For example, if you have a square face, a lovely face frame will suit you well. Or if you have a large forehead, you may consider a nice fringe to break things up a bit. If you are starting to wrinkle around the eyes, stay away from glittery makeup. I often find a vast majority of our guests at K Bella fight their own natural beauty, against their visions of beauty. As I sit and ask myself why this is, I face the fact that for the first time in my life my hair is grown to the middle of my back and looks ridiculous this long. I am fighting for long hair when I know it doesn’t suit me. One of our other stylists, Laura, once told me “your hair is happier when it is short”. Yes, I know. Yet here I stand going for the gold in length.
So, I suppose the advice I wish to give to you, I do not follow entirely…oops. I wish to say to you out there, stop fighting. Embrace. Accentuate YOU.
Some of the biggest fights in the ring are: you hair is fine/thin and you want it long, you want bangs and your cowlicks are offensive, your natural hair is nearly black and you want to be blonde, you have caterpillars for eyebrows and you want to wax them nearly off (big eyebrows are in, just clean them up please), and your hair is straight, shiny and beautiful and you want a perm?!?!. I could go on and on. I have to be professional at work so I would say to the fine-haired gal, “You would probably be happier if your hair was shorter”. What I mean is “You have 10 hairs that make up the last 3 inches of hair. Let it go.” To the gal who wants to be platinum blonde I may say, “That may not be the most flattering tone on you, and it will damage your hair.” What I mean is “Girl, this could get ugly in a lot of ways.”
I have learned through the years, working on many a beautiful lady, the grass is not always greener on the other side. Thick hair takes eons to dry. Blondes do NOT have more fun. You're barely-there eyebrows make you look…interesting is the nicest word I can think of. Curly hair can turn into an afro with a single drop of rain.
The moral of the story is, the things we wish for may be equally as challenging as what we face.
For some of us comfort or fond memories cause us to hold on to hairstyles that may have worked for us in the past (like the 80’s), but are not working for us now (it is 2013). I fought this match not for myself, but for my father recently. My father is a wonderful man who I visit often every week, but haven’t really seen for years. He is suffering his ninth year of Alzheimer’s disease, which disables the brain and the body. He now is functioning at an almost infant state, needing help with all daily functions. Flashback to the man I remember as a kid…well dressed, well groomed, very sharp, sociable, and smart. The man loved his hair! He used hair cream every morning and kept a comb in his pocket to whip his 'do back into shape as the day went on. Back to reality now…he naps constantly throughout the day, leaving his hair in a hot mess. I would show up and feel upset to see his disheveled hair, realizing, however, how unreasonable it would be for the staff at his home to constantly keep it neat after every snooze. I kept fighting for his haircut of the past, and would cut it accordingly. In the back of my head, I felt like I should just buzz it off and be done with the battle. After all, he won’t know the difference anymore. On the other hand, I couldn’t let go (of the old Dad). I finally took off my boxing gloves. I buzzed his hair. I felt miserable and relieved all at the same time. When I showed up the next visit, I almost liked the cut on him. Best of all, he looked tidy, not like a raggedy sick man. Relief. Every time I cut his hair now I think, “You would kill me if you knew I was buzzing your hair, but you would love me for caring enough to do it”. I gave up my personal battle for him, and it turned out to be a beautiful thing.
What do you feel is beautiful? Beauty should be you looking your best as you, not someone else. I know it is easier to say that to ourselves than to feel it. If someday we can convince ourselves of this, we have won our match.
- Have a beautiful week!